LEON LIDIGU: Our ‘unholy’ morality debates are hurting the very essence of marriage

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It should really bother you especially as a young person that society is increasingly determined to make marriage impossible.

The 8-4-4 system made us recite ‘father is head of family’ so many times since day one of school with due respect to all the amazing single parent families . Have we forgotten?

How exactly have we ended up turning what is supposed to be a life changing union of two souls (inseparably in love till death does them part) into a gender competition and debate of some sort if not a commercial venture?

 

Selective Amnesia

Am always baffled by just how we disregard our rich African culture on such issues that matter a great deal then call ourselves ‘feminists ’ and champions of ‘equality ’ .

What is equality?

I read somewhere that men have sidelined women for far too long and we urgently need to create some sort of equilibrium.

We are also contemplating giving women free seats in parliament because they need to ‘equal men’. Well, this has never been true.

Just because a handful of men are in total control of things does not mean that men are not victims too and therefore we must desist from talking ‘ equality ’ minus factoring in the many men out there who have no food on the table and lack opportunities just lack many women do . Just because many male criminals take advantage of young women and sexually abuse them does not mean that men aren’t sexually abused either. Respecting womanhood is not even debatable because we are all born of it in the first place.

Calling oneself a ‘ feminist ‘ , which I sometimes feel is a very much misused ‘space’ by those who are new and excited about the subject .

They fancy little words that massage their bloated ego’s like ‘ toxic masculinity ’ yet they also claim to be ‘ proudly African ’ …well real African women cook for their husbands and make a home what it’s supposed to be .

It’s a role women embrace with so much joy and love.

Our selective amnesia sadly dictates how we view our cultural practices and order to suit our ‘feminist –wannabe agenda’ of course with blessings from tailored scholarly programs such as ‘Women Studies ’ designed to promote these sort of madness that defiles the sanctity of marriage .

It is not possible to be proudly African while at the same time view African cultural heritage as ‘myopic’, such stories are designed for the birds.

Don’t get me wrong, my view here goes not give green light to openly barbaric practices such as FGM. ”

 

Personal Choices

From ‘ Dk Kwenye Meat ’ to Owuor twitter minions to the 5 rated escapades of brother Ken Gomari , the underlying issue falls back to our state of morality .

Just who in your view should be the S.I Unit of morality in our society?

Parents?

Who are busy working day and night to make ends meet and have left their duties to ‘affordable’ house girls while imagining that raising children is about working to provide for them?

Your pastor? (Insert Ken Gomari)

Your government? That aides and abates betting if not telling ‘ young ’people like Moodi Awori to rejoin government since only they can be trusted with power as the rest are thieves ?

Or is it PHD holders like Ezekiel Mutua who seemingly are getting away with making their bedroom opinions the order of the day?

Many times I feel we spend too much time shouting at each other instead of talking to one another. Our personal choices remain the main essence of morality in our view.

We might be quick to blame the government for moral decadence or even corruption, but do we ever soul search ourselves as human beings before we look for a scape-goat?

 

Men are dogs

As a young man , allow me to speak for myself when I say that I am increasingly getting tired with worn out lines like ‘ men are trash ’ and ‘ men are dogs ’ allover social media spaces .

I recently sought to find out from a twitter user who has ‘Intersectional Feminist ’ on her bio why she had called men dogs and further inquired to know exactly if her dad being a man was a.. German shepherd, Labrador, Pariah or a Spitz.

She blocked me after venting in my inbox on just how for generations men have been ‘ sitting on women ’breaking their hearts , making them cook and do chores and even sought sexual favors just to expose them to opportunities at work .

To me, she sounded like hers was a cry for help.

‘Criminalizing’ men in general and making it seem as though Lucifer manufactured them is a card that now has evidently outlived its existence because the truth remains it is criminals who do wrong.

Criminals may be male or female hence the blanket-blame must now stop.

Our culture as Africans distinguished roles, yes. But it also advocates for and promotes a lot of respect and unity to both sexes, and not some sort of competition for we are stronger together.

 

Leon Lidigu is a student of Journalism at Pacific University, India

 



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